February 11, 2009
· Filed under Celebs, Reader of the Week · Tagged Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Robert Pattison, Twilight
Here at ATM, we’re not blind to the impact our words have on our reader(s). We know that when we say ‘jump’ you say ‘how high?’ (And if you don’t jump, we’ll send Chris Brown to go all Disturbia on your ass!) And one such jumping reader is Miss Paris Hilton.
Obviously a fan from way back, and not looking to be outdone by her former bestie Kim Kardashian, Hilton read that we were late comers to the Twilight trend and decided to join us on the already-departed-from-the-station-bandwagon. Hilton commented earlier today that she “just saw Twilight for the first time, and I have to say that I think Rob [Pattinson] is a beautiful man and an amazing actor. He’s fabulous!” (If we’re being honest here, we only agree with half of that sentiment. He is indeed beautiful, but the second half of the statement says something about Hilton’s own acting abilities. See: The Hottie and the Nottie.)
Paris, who prefers to start trends rather than follow them (don’t lie, you know you had t-shirts made with your own face on them as soon as she started rocking her self-promoting tees), hadn’t thought to become a Twilighter, claiming she didn’t get the hubbub surrounding the pop culture phenomenon. (To be fair, we feel the same way about her.)
Lucky for her, we at ATM like to talk about Twilight. A lot. (You probably hadn’t noticed.) And we peaked her interest: “Now I understand all the hype,” she said, obvi referring to our writings. “I just didn’t get it before, but now it all makes sense.”
Never a literaphile, Hilton opted to skip reading the books in favor of only seeing the film…most likely to play the Twilight drinking game. (We have a feeling Brandon Davis has seen the movie that way about a thousand times at this point.) So Paris, we salute you as our Awesome Reader of the Week. And we ask that you take our advice one more time and read the books. Especially New Moon. There’s open casting in Canada as we speak, and while you’ve missed out on your chance to play Rosalie (an inspired casting idea in our humble opinion), we think you would make a FABULOUS Gianna. Especially now that Steph Meyer has come out and said that Gianna didn’t survive to become one of the Volturi guard and instead was used to “sustain them.” Maybe you could take Mischa Barton with you.
January 21, 2009
· Filed under Reader of the Week
Here at Awesome Teen Magazine, we take pride in being the voice you, our loyal reader, longs to hear. We’re the advice you don’t know you need, a gentle reminder of the more important things in life (it doesn’t get more important than Facebook, duh), and the friend who says—out loud—exactly what you’re thinking. No matter how difficult or inappropriate that thought might be.
So it wasn’t a shock last year when one co-creator posted her extreme distaste for Ryan Seacrest. We knew that you must feel the same way. How could you not? We posted our opinion, tested the waters and received no serious backlash and no Ryan Seacrest rebuttal. (Brian Dunkleman did send us a lovely fruit basket, but let’s be honest, he’s so Z-list! We gave it to our doorman.) Instead, we saw other celebs follow our lead and speak out against Mr. Seacrest. We had an in-office celebration (complete with Seacrest-sized finger sandwiches and mini cocktail weenies. Burn Seacrest!) when Angelina ignored the wretched roving reporter on the red carpet; we read (and enjoyed) every post on the I Hate Ryan Seacrest Forum; and we LOVED seeing Nicolette Sheridan on Ellen last week. In a passionate response to rumors that she was dating Ryan Seacrest, our newest Awesome Reader of the Week exclaimed that the idea was “gross” and the man in question is undoubtedly “nasty.”
We thank you, Nicolette Sheridan, for finding the courage to say those words on national TV and supporting us in all that we do. You give us and our readers hope that we’re not alone in our quest to survive our awkward teen years. And take Ryan Seacrest down.
August 5, 2008
· Filed under Reader of the Week
First we suggested D-list celebs (and their Z-list sibs) get pregnant to get a little extra TLC from the fans, and Jamie Lynn Spears took notice. The new little mama successfully stole the spotlight from her drama queen big sis when she announced her tween pregnancy, so we awarded her with our Awesome Teen Reader trophy.
Now, a new Awesome Teen Reader trophy award winner has emerged. In a recent post, we advised our readers to pick their very own “our songs” based not on the love they currently share with their boo, but on the feelings that they will experience when their boo goes MIA and that love is shattered into a million pieces, thus eliminating unnecessary heartache. Our first suggestion: “No Air” by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown.
Well tonight on the red carpet of the only award show anyone cares about—the Teen Choice Awards, duh! What, did you think we gave a crap about the Oscars? As if!—she of the totally scripted reality show and the giant patoot, Kim Kardashian, met a bizarrely starstruck Jordin Sparks (aren’t you legitimately famous, Jordin?) and told her that “No Air” is her and her boyfriend (Reggie Bush)’s song!
Kim, we’d like to thank you for your fervent readership and for your vocal support of Awesome Teen Magazine. Without you and other celebrity readers like you, we’d have no one to write about. So keep doing what you’re doing. But (and this is a big butt) quit it with that reality show. It hurts our teeth a little.
December 19, 2007
· Filed under Celebs, Reader of the Week
In lieu of today’s planned interview with Bono, in which the activist/sometimes singer discusses the plight of AIDS-stricken women in Africa, we at ATM would like to take this time to thank one of our fans for her devotion to the site. Jamie Lynn Spears, 16 year-old sister to Britney, has announced her pregnancy, shocking Nickelodeon fans around the world. Jamie Lynn, who has been living with her unfamous boyfriend for, well, none of us know how long because he’s not famous so why would we have cared? Anyway, Spears and Mr. Nobody obviously read December 4th’s story, “Maybe They’ll Notice Me if I Get Pregnant,” in which we advised readers that getting pregnant is a surefire way to step out of the shadows and get attention.
Long shunned from Britney’s spotlight, Jamie Lynn has watched from the sidelines as her sister took the recording industry by storm, stole the hearts of America, starred in her own feature-length film, made out with Madonna, got married, got divorced, got pregnant (and fat), got married to another guy, got pregnant (and fatter), got divorced, stayed fat and put out what might be the best-received albumn of her career. (Though we’re not sure why.) Meanwhile, JL’s career has mostly included standing beside her sister and nodding, appearing in Britney’s Diary on Mtv, and starring in her Nickelodeon show, Zoey 101.
You’ve probably never seen Zoey 101, but we’re pretty sure you’ll tune in now that she’s got one in the oven! Further confirming our original story. Clearly, Jamie Lynn agreed with our logic and immediately got to work with Sr. Notaceleb on making a baby to make her famous.
The pregnancy is set to break with a cover story in OK! Magazine. And let’s face it, without the bambino, when would Jamie Lynn ever make the cover of OK!? Unless Britney died and they interviewed her about taking custory of her sister’s babies? Which would still confirm our point.
We only hope Jamie Lynn thanks us in her interview. Or names her baby after us. Afterall, with our help, she’s on track to become this year’s biggest tween sensation. Watch out virginal Miley Cyrus. Take a backseat, dolphin-saving Hayden Panettiere. There’s a new Mama Spears in town!
