Archive for Gossip

Twits and Giggles

March 18, 2009 · Filed under Celebs, Gossip, Trends · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Our job here at ATM is to stay on top of the trends. Nay, START the trends. Which is why we’ve been Twittering for as long as we can remember. According to our Twitter account, that’s 247 days. (We might wanna see a doctor about that.) Our love for the best social networking site since Facebook (BURN, MySpace!) grows with each follower we receive and each followee we, er, follow. And while originally our favorite usage for the site was to keep in touch with you, dear reader(s), we’ve abandoned that kind of Kumbaya mentality for a better usage: keeping up with the stars!

Never have celebs been more accessible! We can keep track of Taylor Swift’s whereabouts (yesterday, she spontaneously packed her bags and headed off to Vegas!), monitor Demi Lovato’s budding career (she met her idol Kelly Clarkson this week!) and feel like we’re part of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s relationship as we read their flirtatious banter (which, creepily, also includes comments from John Mayer). 

We should also mention that several celebs are following us. Dakota Fanning AND her sister both sent us follow requests, as did the biggest celebrity of them all. (No, not Oprah.) OBAMA! That’s right…the big kahuna himself sent us a follow request. Needless to say it was an exciting day in the office when we got that email! (Almost more exciting than the day we got an advanced screener of the Jonas Brothers 3D movie. Which was made less exciting by our lack of 3D glasses. We hear Nick’s dimples look like the Grand Canyon!)

But all this celeb Tweeting got us thinking. Why is it that none of the stars respond to us? We asked Taylor if she was excited about her spontaneous jaunt to Sin City. Nothing. We told John Mayer his idea for a Man vs. Clams show on Food Network sounded dirty. Nothing!  We even asked Soup host (and Co-Creator A crush) Joel McHale when he would be performing in Atlanta. Not a word!

And while we understand that big time celebs can’t take time out of their busy Tweeting/awesome-being lives, we’ve also noticed that for every People Magazine cover-worthy star on Twitter, there are about a hundred that don’t even warrant a mention in the People Magazine crossword puzzle. And what hurts the most? They won’t even respond to us! MC Hammer, Debbie—sorry, Deborah—Gibson, and of course, Twitter-fiend Solange Knowles (seriously, how does she raise a child when she spends ALL of her time typing misspelled, difficult to understand Tweets?! “Stranded at Quiznos sammich shop…let my housekeeper run an errand…she claims she’s very lost…she gone be ‘very lost’ once I get to her.”)…not one of them will respond to our Tweets!

But, as with all things, we’ve decided it’s best to look on the bright side. Twitter might not be the best avenue for a chat with the stars, but it’s the best insight we have into their minds. Now we just have to hope that RPatz starts Tweeting (we’d love to get inside his pants, er, mind). And that Giuliana from E! stops telling us that coffee will make us fat. Please, G, that’s a small price to pay for curing our hangovers.

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ATM: Hollywood or Bust!

March 12, 2009 · Filed under Celebs, Gossip · Tagged , , ,

When we got wind that Perez was leaving Los Angeles (not to be confused with Nicolas Cage Leaving Las Vegas) to promote his book and Britney’s tour, we here at ATM knew we had to act fast.  Who was going to watch over the celebs in Perez’s absence?  We know we can’t trust the paparazzi (ahem, Adnan Ghalib) so Co-Creator M hopped a plane and headed West.  We owed it to you dear reader(s) to be there in case Britney ended the tour early, if R Patz had a layover at LAX on his way home from Tokyo, or if Ryan Seacrest showed his face on the streets (I didn’t rent that tank of a Toyota Sequoia for nothing!) It would only be fair to you (and R Patz) that I be there (and by be there I mean Room 2208 at the Westin Bonaventure, Rob) to keep LA thriving with red carpet photos and celebrity gossip reporting.
 
Just when the celebs thought they could put their well-staged PR image aside for a weekend of normalcy (what’s the point of hating whoever it is you’re supposed to hate or breaking up with whoever you’re dating if no one is there to post the photos?), we showed up and caught them all off guard.  Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox booed back up, Holly Madison flew to Vegas to see Chriss Angel, and Real Housewife Gretchen showed up to a party with her boyfriend Slade (he’s been with at least three housewives at this point! Man-whore!), relieved not to have to put on the widow in mourning face for the weekend.  In LA, no matter who you are, it’s hard to resist a red carpet and cameras, even if it means tarnishing your fake image.  You show up, walk the line, and smile big for the cameras.  Think Stephanie Pratt is really BFF with LC and the gang? Nope. She showed up alone while everyone else was across town at a cooler, hipper party (something for elephants, but I’ve never seen an elephant in LA…except for Jessica Simpson on a cheat day. BURN, Simpson!).  Just when she thought she was free from celeb gossip ridicule we were there to snap the photos of her REAL celeb status—not even worthy of Spencer’s company.
 
So after our Friday night soiree (cleverly disguised as a dog benefit, because what celeb doesn’t like to party with their dog?), LA was buzzing with celeb activity and at every turn we saw a soap star, washed up TV host, or one-hit wonder wearing the trendiest duds.   In West Hollywood Steve Sanders, Brandon Walsh, Andrea Zuckerman, and Emily Valentine (wait, Brandon still talks to her?!) grabbed a quick lunch with Kat Von D (do you think they’re getting matching West Beverly tats?!). Ryan Buell and Ron Jeremy flew into town for the occasion (but not together. Though, we can only imagine that Ryan would have something to say about all the skeletons in Ron’s closet).  And Chris Noth and Kate Walsh hit the gym in the middle of the day. They knew we were there and they wanted to be seen.
 
Celebs came out in droves to flaunt their latest scandal (Million Dollar Listing is one man down due to an embezzlement arrest), show off the cameras for their newest reality shows (E! will soon be promoting a dog-themed show), and remind us they still exist (Right Said Fred is bound to be releasing an album soon).   Perez might be out of town, but there was one outlet that would be happy to tell their stories: ATM.  It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.  You’re welcome fan(s), you’re welcome

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The Case of Carter v Brown

February 13, 2009 · Filed under Advice, Celebs, Gossip · Tagged , , ,

When Chris Brown went all UFC on our Rih Rih we, like you awesome reader(s), were a rollercoaster of emotions.  While we stand firmly on the principal that violence is never the answer and two wrongs don’t make a right (which, BTW could be the official slogan of the Olsens’ fashion sense…BURN, Olsens!), part of us secretly hoped that Rihanna’s mentor/promoter/big daddy, Jay-Z,  would make good on his Chris Brown “is a dead man walking” threats and take down the “Take You Down” singer.  Sure it wouldn’t be nearly as big as the East Coast v West Coast drama between Biggy and Tupac that we endured in our youth (we admit we don’t really know what actually happened. We were busy the night Notorious was in theatres.), but, on the other hand, with the division between the two camps, we would be able to take sides, feel proud to twist our hands into unnatural positions, and wear spray painted t-shirts.  All things that clearly define “cool.”  We shudder in excitement just thinking about it! Oh, wait…we were actually thinking about the new Hannah Montana movie.

But then we got to thinking: do we really need Jay-Z to sacrifice his holier-than-though H to the izzo, V to the izzay image to teach Chris Brown a lesson. No. As much as we’d love to see a Chris Brown beat down live on TV (think about it Pay-Per-View…it’s a great way to boost our economy), we urge Jay-Z to lay down his sword (obviously in his case it’s a platinum handmade samurai sword handled by his hired personal sword handler) and let Chris Brown pave his own destructive path.  We’re not ready for you to “disappear” on Beyonce. You put a ring on that and while you crazy photo shy kids may still deny it, we know you’re blissfully wed.  Plus, we don’t think we can handle a lover-lost album from her…it’s hard enough hitting the notes on the happy songs.

We would like to remind Jay-Z that emotionally confused celebs like Chris Brown are a dime a dozen.  Take for instance: 

Britney Spears. Remember when she attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella (shout out to you, Rih Rih!). Bad move, sure.  But you didn’t see Adnan Ghalib protecting his crew, now did you? Nope.  He stood back and let her do her own thing. (Incidentally, did you see that crazy pap laid his own smackdown on somebody last week? Violence begets violence, kids!)  

And who could forget the disastrous relationship that was Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston?! It’s no coincidence that after their dirty laundry (and assault and battery charges) were aired in the press, their careers went down the crapper. Ew. Crapper. We just remembered the horrible bathroom scene from that ep of their reality show. Ew ew ew.

 So Shawn Carter, save your threats for your music and rise above this modern day West Side Story (how hot would the dancing in THAT be?!). This is one battle that will have to wait another day. But if you feel it necessary to retaliate, remember the effectiveness of angry lyrics (are you and Nas playing nice yet?). That whole ’sticks and stones’ thing is total crap.

And if violence really must be your answer, consider throwing money (and by money, we mean gift certificates to Sunset Tan) at Ryan Seacrest and paying him to do your dirty work.  We’re not concerned if he gets hurt.  Plus we don’t mind if he spends a little time—nay, a LOT of time—in jail.

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What Not To Do Today

February 10, 2009 · Filed under Celebs, Gossip, What Not To Do Today · Tagged , ,

Don’t get drunk at work just because Ryan Seacrest was wasted during his Grammy red carpet interviews. 

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Another Hit For Chris Brown and Rihanna

February 9, 2009 · Filed under Celebs, Gossip, Love · Tagged , , ,

Like all of you, dear ATM readers, we have been following this Chris Brown/Rihanna beat-down sitch VERY closely. We remember so fondly the brighter days of the happy couple: Tweeting about Chris sitting on Rih Rih’s lap at the Mtv Awards, listening with envy to reports of their romantic dual-concert in Australia, and wondering if Doublemint hired Chris Brown to sing that “double your pleasure” line in his song, or if he offered to be their spokesperson AFTER singing it to avoid a lawsuit. (Ok, that last one wasn’t really couple-related, but it’s been on our minds for a while now!)

We were shocked when we came home from our own Grammy function on Sunday night (a visit to our Grammy’s house, that is, not the awards show) to learn of the allegedly violent tirade Chris launched upon Rihanna in the car on their way home from Clive Davis’ annual pre-Grammy soiree. We contemplated what could have gone wrong:

 
1. Did the duo perform a rousing Britney Spears tribute at the party and Chris took Rihanna a little too seriously when she sang ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’?

 
2. Did Chris see how well Rih Rih and T.I.’s song ‘Live Your Life’ did on the charts and get jealous so he decided to top their act by collaborating with the pokey-bound T.I. behind bars? (Where he will be taking all of his meetings for the forseeable future.)

 
3. Did Jessica Simpson pay Chris off to do something crazy and take the heat off her recent Golden Corral-binging weight gain drama?

 
4. Maybe the two weren’t tired after Davis’ party and decided to hit up the video store. Rihanna suggested renting ‘Bring it On: All or Nothing” to see her fabulous portrayal of herself. Chris countered that watching his own performance in ‘This Christmas,’ while not terribly seasonal, was a much better way to spend the evening. The two argued until they were only shouting titles at one another: “Bring it on!” Rihanna probably yelled. And Chris did just that.

But then we realized, this isn’t a case of love gone sour. It’s not a publicity stunt. It’s an act of national service. Celebrity political endorsements, like that bumper sticker on your Prius, became less relevant when Obama won the election. They were left wondering what to do with their time, now that their days of campainging and party-throwing were behind them. (We hear Oprah’s opening a school for deaf penguins in the Arctic. Hopefully she’ll screen the instructors a little better this time. BURN, Oprah!) They’re looking to new charitable pursuits and Chris Brown, who has gone on record as saying he himself was the victim of domestic abuse, has decided to use his fame as a way to bring attention to the cause. And thus, Chris Brown, we salute you for taking a shot at domestic abusers nationwide. For beating this problem before it gets worse. For smacking up the bitch that is domestic violence. Kudos sir, kudos. We plan to rally support and fight this fight “with you, with you, with you, with you. Heeeeeeyyyyeaaahh.”

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