Awesome Teen Mag

Last November when we cast our vote for Obama, we cast a vote for change.  We expected this change to come about in the form of economic turn-around, removal of troops from the Middle East, and perhaps a few legalizations out in California. (We’re  talking about marriage—obvi.) Turns out we were very, very wrong.  Apparently, when we collectively rallied in support of change,  some other commanders in chief heard our cries and set out to rock our worlds…and not in the good way.
 
Sure, sure, the change has been gradual (it all started when the spicy mayo at Co-Creator A’s fav sushi place became too spicy. Oh, the mid-week horror!) and questionable (did Forever 21 change their sizing standards or have we gained weight?  Either way, we don’t like buying a bigger size!), but the further we delve into 2009, the more severe the changes and the angrier we become (your new return policy is BS, Target!).   In the past few months we’ve been thrown a late night talk show host shake up (including 12 weeks of Conan-less humor) and seen (or rather, not seen) celebrities choosing to elope rather than throw over-the-top, magazine-worthy nuptials. Though what might be worst of all: the Facebook redesign, which has rendered an old, familiar friend unrecognizable.
 
The new Facebook is apparently everything we’ve always wanted (but never knew we did), including real-time status updates like Twitter.  Sure it’s a cool concept to introduce to Facebook, but not if that means taking away the ease of knowing when our ex posted photos, when he accepted an event invite, or when someone else left a wall post. With the new Facebook we’re welcomed only by user supplied news, which comes from the same four people, who, coincidently, are the same four you’re already following on Twitter.  No longer does Facebook offer us a simple way stalk people—the reason we once fell in love with the social networking program.
 
The old Facebook was brilliant.  A quick refresh of the homepage gave you a full overview of the hour’s most important happenings:  your crush just became friends with the new girl in accounting, your aunt was busy celebrating a birthday, and your best friend just posted something on your ex’s wall.  You were up-to-date in just minutes, keeping you from being a delinquent employee or super-obsessed friend. Now when you sign on, you have to manually go through each friend to see what’s up, who’s doing who, and when it’s all doing down.  Birthday notifications are mixed up in advertisements or “groups you should join” postings, leaving you to miss birthdays you never even knew were coming up. Plus, your events calendar is nowhere to be found, which means it’s equally hard to find on your crush’s page.  You’re officially out of the loop. Again, going against Facebook’s founding principles.
 
Usually we here at ATM offer advice in these trying times, but like you, we have yet to become comfortable with these changes.  We’re certain only of one thing: Obama needs to pass a new bill that calls for the quick return to the Facebook of yesterday. (This bill has got to be easier than that stimulus deal. We follow seven senators on Twitter who agree with us about the new FB redesign.)   The new layout is making us bad employees, neurotic exes and jaded Internet users.  There’s bound to be bigger problems than a failing economy if Facebook doesn’t do something quick.