Awesome Teen Mag

While normally, we at ATM like to distance ourselves from our subject matter, this writer can’t help but pontificate upon the bomb ass-ness that is Hannah Montana.  Sure, I’m 25 years old.  That doesn’t mean I can’t love me a little Disney musical action.  I admit it.  I Tivo new episodes.  I bought the CD (on iTunes, mind you.  It would be a tad embarrassing to purchase it in public).  I know the words to most…ok, all-of her songs.  I might even have teared up when I was unable to score tickets to her concert.  And then wept tears of joy when it was announced that the concert would be turned into a 3D movie.  And one more time (out of sorrow) when I learned the film would only be in theaters for a week and I didn’t know if I’d be able to go.

But none of this makes me weird, because it turns out there are others like me out there!  Others who know what “Smokin Okin” means.  Others who know that “sweet niblets” can mean something is great or awful.  Others who think, “crazy no taste in music 20-something say what?” every time one of our peers suggests we turn off the bubble gum and listen to U2 or Coldplay.  Yes, others like the always cool John Mayer, who took a break from his busy starlet wooing and mellow music making schedule to sing along with “Nobody’s Perfect” and maybe even don a Lola wig to keep the fans at bay. 

All of these facts help me sleep at night.  And I do so at midnight.  Right after the 11:30 Hannah Montana rerun.  And that’s another thing: Why would Disney run the show at 11:30 if not for the apres work set?  Obviously they are reaching out to a more mature market.  What kids are still up at 11:30? 

Supporting the adult fan base are the guest stars that turn up on the show from time to time.  Dolly Parton might be Miley’s real-life godmother, but she’s also a busty blonde who rocks low cut frocks and belts adult lyrics.  She’s certainly not there to build a prepubescent following.  Neither is Mama’s Family and Carol Burnett Show alum Vicki Lawrence, who shows up every now and then.  Don’t forget Heather Lockelar who plays Lily’s mom.  The former bitch of Melrose Place is obviously there to score some 20s and 30s male viewership.

And thus, it’s not such an embarrassing thing to be a 20-something Hannah Montana fan.  No, it’s a great thing.  So great, in fact, that I’m even willing to admit I’m not 25.  I’m 26.