It’s Christmas and you and your childhood BFFs have returned to the old stomping ground for a little yuletide family fun. But it’s been a while, and catching up on what’s new can get old fast. Whatever will you find to talk about with the old gang? Not to worry! Rehashing the past can lead to hours of nostalgic chit chat. And what better to recount than tales of stalking your former crush. After all, nothing brings friends together like a stealthy late-night drive-by!
Admit it. You’re guilty of the drive-by. There was that guy in chem class that had the hottest arms, the dreamiest eyes or the sexiest smile you’d ever seen. Rather than getting up the nerve to talk to him, you scored yourself a school directory, grabbed your BFF and drove past his parents’ house in the dead of night. As time went on, you got braver. Driving by after school, when you knew he’d be at practice. Eventually, you craved more interaction. You mustered up the courage to go on a Saturday afternoon when he might be home and hit pay dirt when you saw him pushing his little sister on the tire swing in his front yard, only to squeal with joy so loudly that he heard you and told all his friends you were crazy.
Things were so much simpler then. It was so easy to use school resources and know exactly where your crush was at any given time. Schedules, sports teams, after school activities and weekend car-washes meant “accidentally” bumping into him was a sure thing. If only it were that easy now.
Oh wait, it is. Thanks to modern technology, stalking your crush can be just as simple today. What better time to take advantage than the holiday season? With everyone heading back to their hometowns for a little R&R, why not catch up with an old flame? Or, find yourself a new one. A few tricks of the trade can put the two of you under the mistletoe at the same time.
Possibly the most valuable resources at the disposal of any post-adolescent (or adolescent) stalker are networking sites such as Facebook or MySpace. These sites can prove exceptionally helpful in learning background information about your crush and finding him at any given time. Facebook, especially, offers many useful features for stalking. Profiles can include cell phone numbers, email address, home addresses and AIM screennames.
Both sites also include member statuses. This can be key to tracking down your crush at any point in time. Things like “Jack Smith is Christmas shopping” or “Tom Davis is at his company Christmas party” can help you “accidentally” meet up at just the right time. These sites also provide you with several key conversational points, should the two of you meet face to face. Find out his interests, favorite movies and TV shows and casually drop them into conversation. The coincidences will leave him thinking that he might have found his perfect match!
So this holiday season, don’t resign yourself to drinking eggnog and watching White Christmas alone to avoid awkward conversations with old friends. Sign online, do a little research, grab your old BFF and do a drive-by.
And if anyone catches you, just say you were looking at Christmas lights.
Suzi said,
December 21, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
I do miss the drive bys… it’s sad, but they may have been the highlight of HS.
I must add that if there is someone that you hate you can allways do a drive-by f***ing! Drive by their home, honk your horn, give their house the finger, and haul ass. It might be juvenile, but it sure does make you feel better!!